It seems to be we all have our parts to play, when we look at the history of humans as a whole. We seem to be searching for answers on both a conscious or unconscious level as to whom we are, and why we live this short existence... wondering if we each have a destiny and if so... what will our part be?  Who ... how are we created to Be in Spirit and in truth.  In our conscious search, it seems to be; some of us reach out to God's Spirit ... to our Divine Source for a response...  and receive it!

My hearts desire had been brought to the place of no longer simply wanting to know 'about' God... but to know the reality of God and my role, on an intimate level... and to become the person I was created to Be through our relationship, if indeed such was possible.  Having come to a such a place deep within, while soaking in the bath one evening in 1978, I reached out ...  with every fiber of my being my heart cried out to my limited concept of our heavenly father, asking for His spiritual words and empowerment to manifest through the uniting of our hearts ... it was then I heard the most beautiful words coming forth from my mouth... they flowed without effort on my part, and as they did it was then I entered into what I can only suppose was an out of body vision.

Although my body was still in the tub, I found a part of my consciousness being lifted ever higher. It was as if the real me was enveloped inside of a thick cloud of light, love and truth, so thick, I wondered if it could be cut with a knife. All around me was a bright essence... energy of sorts. I was aware this cloud was the Presence of God, and I was receiving part of His mind.  I understood much ... I knew that I knew.... that I knew truth.... that God was real... that He is good... and loving and He desires an intimate spiritual relationship with us. I knew He was revealing Himself ... the Spirit of His Mind ... to me because HE had been drawing me, convicting me of that which caused me to shy away or resist His best for me ... and I had responded... humbling myself... having repented, completely surrendering my rebellious will and dual nature for Him to do as HE willed.

As God's Spirit alive within flooded me... I heard myself continuing to pray in a beautiful language... an ancient tongue ... a tongue unknown to my conscious mind. I understood clearly the heart of its message through internal impressions. God's Spirit revealed much deep within.  I knew that when my human body ceased to exist, I had nothing to fear... God has already prepared a wonderful place for me... and my life with Him would continue … that God loves each of us and offers such and the purity of Who He is to all.  I knew no matter what, that NOTHING I do will ever destroy that love... nor cause it to be increased.... because it could not be earned.... it simply is. I knew every sin ...  I ever committed and ever would commit was forgiven and always would be. Shame and condemnation left as I received the forgiveness and the power to overcome the sin nature I desired .... all desire to willfully sin was gone.... my nature had been transformed.... into a higher way of Being. Sin no longer gave me pleasure.  I was very aware God's Spirit had taken control of my life since I had asked.... giving me a new life with Him... through a redeemed .. restored nature.  I saw Him as my Dad... my loving Father.... Who deeply cared about my life.... our life, in every way.... Who would always be there for and with me.

Deep within my Spirit, I saw myself spiritually crucified with Jesus at Calvary at the foundations of the world ... in time and eternity, in spirit and in truth and resurrected with Him in my now, my having become a child of God... and an aspect of His Bride... one who returns love with a deep love I had not previously known. I was impressed I was in an eternal moment, we were one.  I was given a gift, of knowing God as the lover of our soul, as our creator and an understanding of my unity with Him... with others as an aspect of HIM... and a part of the family of God.... not just when we died, but in our present moments. I was made aware I was within Jesus when Jesus died as a representative figure of humanity in time and eternity.... and I was not alone... there were others who were spiritual beings of faith, who had and would embrace this truth as their own, receiving eternal life now ... manifesting God's Kingdom come on earth and within...  one person at a time NOW, from generation to generation ... because they too had heard God's voice within their conscience and answered His call... and this is one of the reasons we humans are created.

I knew, deep within, through a level of identification words alone cannot express, my nature and Jesus' had become one.  He had taken my sin nature into Himself and I had taken His Holy Spirit into myself. I would be awakened to this awareness... as His Spirit was resurrected within me through this union I was experiencing now and in the new life, which would follow. I came to understand each day I would die to my old life... my old thinking... my limited concepts... my old lower ways of being... as I was transformed into a new creation, a holy eternal Spiritual being.... of a higher nature, through the process ... as these revelations became a part of me experientially. 

When I woke up the next morning with great faith, aware I was indeed an spiritual aspect of a bride being prepared for the return of Jesus' as her bridegroom ....  I was even more aware I would never be the same again. I understood that Father God had begun a good work in me and that He would complete it... as His eternal plan unfolded. I began to experience the fact that I had nothing to fear, because He would be in control, even when I doubted it.... I was to continue to ask... to seek to learn to trust in His continual love and guidance as He led me and taught me, as He revealed His ways, Who He is and His Presence with me daily, in ways I could only imagine. I marveled as I watched the faith and love I had been given grow... through God's revelations and transformative power made real through our union. 

I know much... which I have grown to understand layer by layer.... through experience.... and observing the inner changes as they come forth. Much, I sometimes forget for a moment.... which is brought to remembrance as I grow spiritually and Father's Spirit transforms my limited natural understanding and distorted thinking replacing it with His own, through the experiences He ordains for my spiritual growth. I had received the mind of Christ.  It seemed to me God's DNA ... His life blood flowed through me now.  A new passion motivated me.

I can only compare all of this to a bud.... which has the hopes of becoming the rose He would open in due season. I have come to understand, if I try to open the rose, I will only tear the delicate leaves of my life... and it is best to surrender to His manifested will, in each present moment, through faith in Who He is revealing Himself to Be... through His great love.... love having become my own motivation, through our union.

With the understanding of a little child, I knew God is the eternal Spirit of unconditional love and truth.... and His Spirit had brought me to this moment.  It was indeed His Spirit revealing Himself and His Son to me as the lover of my soul... and myself as His daughter... and an aspect of the Bride of Christ, an eternal companion. I knew it was up to my heavenly Father to lead me in the ways I should go, to train me as one of His children, born of His Spirit, because I did not have the wisdom otherwise.   A sin nature... one which called evil good and good evil... external influences, unhealthy preconditioning, a fear of what others think of me, a fear of rejection, a sense of powerlessness, had distorted my natural thinking and affected my ways of being ... I would have to let go... to receive anew ... it was up to me to simply trust, obey and follow the best I was enabled without condemnation... as I daily chose to love and forgive, as I would be loved and forgiven in return. 

I was given the revelation... since an awareness of His Spirit alive within now lived in me as a higher way of Being... it would no longer be my lower nature which ruled.... which dictated right or wrong for me. I came to understand experientially the purity of His Spirit was indeed growing within me ... revealing my corrupted lower nature as dead or willing to die, one moment at a time. He convicted the new me, a holy nature, of the sin nature at war within and the need for death; as I turned to Him in obedient trust... to receive the transformation of who HE had created me to Be as His child.... a sister to Jesus, who was the first born from sin and death ...  I was aware I was one with and among the resurrected family of God, through this spiritual birth.

I felt myself being cleansed deep within.... as I continued to be lifted higher and higher... into this cloud of light.... swallowed up in His Presence, God's Essence, and the truth of HIS love for each of us, and our ability to love selflessly through our union. It was as if the words I was praying through this new tongue and the thoughts I was receiving were washing me clean....  renewing the spirit of my mind, yet nothing was registering for long, except the magnitude of love He has for us as our Father. This and the revelation of my daily death to all which would attempt to separate me from God as my father... Jesus as the fulfillment of our promised Messiah, myself as an aspect of Jesus' Spiritual Bride, He being the lover of our soul, God's Holy Spirit of Truth birthed within empowering and leading me into all truth... has remained alive within, bringing forth much healing… for myself and others. I understood my life would never be the same, my desires... my mind... my nature had indeed changed... and thus so had I.  My eyes had been opened to the spirit realm. I was given the ability to see through His eyes of eternity.

I would have to walk these revelations out... for them to be appropriated in my now, releasing me from head knowledge and the ego ... dual nature at war within. I came to understand as I did... His Spirit, His words, was renewing the Spirit of my mind as I meditated upon them. A change in my ways of being, thinking, through much tribulation... and trials of faith.... would prove to me, that all would and was indeed working out for the good, as He promised.... even when I could not see how or when, with my intellect.... even when my emotions were feeling otherwise.  Father God proved HimSelf to Be faithful and true.  Jesus' words and promises to us have become my truth and are becoming my reality.

Suddenly, I was back in the bathtub.... where I had begun my prayer.... I realized I was naked.... I covered my breasts in embarrassment. As I did, I heard an audible voice, it laughed... I heard a clear thought... It said, "I have seen you before.... you have just never seen Me...." He has been speaking to me clearly ever since.... in ever increasing ways.

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